Rock'em Stock'em
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
rockemstockem's LiveJournal:
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| Sunday, August 12th, 2007 | | 10:32 pm |
Dear Svedka Vodka, Your label says you were voted "Best Vodka Of 2033," I am assuming this is after the vodka wars, where all other vodkas have been destroyed by your evil "Fembot Army," and the general taste consensus is to drink things that taste like battery acid mixed with anger. Also, stay away from my time machine. XOXO, Princess Fancypants. | | Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007 | | 2:59 am |
Today, my boss said, "I don't understand why anyone would want to climb on top of an animal and go around in circles." I thought it was the funniest thing I heard like ever. | | Friday, March 23rd, 2007 | | 6:50 pm |
I must have been drunk when I posted the last post, the first time (as I have been for a lot of firsts. Now I am too concerned with getting drunk again, to fix it. | | Thursday, March 22nd, 2007 | | 8:58 pm |
MYSPACE SURVEY BY ROCKETYSTOCKETY
1. How many gay ass MySpace surveys have you filled out?
2. Why?
3. Do your "friends" not know this shit already?
4. If they don't, do you think they care?
5. How long did it take you to realize MySpace surveys are dumb?
6. How much of a retard are you for answering up until this question?
7. how much stupider are you now?
8. Do you want me to kick you in the head?
9. Nuts?
10. You want me to kick you in the head and the nuts? | | Friday, March 16th, 2007 | | 2:18 am |
MYSPACE SURVEY BY ROCKETYSTOCKETY1. How many gay ass MySpace surveys have you filled out? 2. Why? 3. Do your "friends" not know this shit already? 4. If they don't, do you think they care? 5. How long did it take you to realize MySpace surveys are dumb? 6. How much of a retard are you for answering up until this question? 7. how much stupider are you now? 8. Do you want me to kick you in the head? 9. Nuts? 10. You want me to kick you in the head and the nuts? | | Wednesday, December 20th, 2006 | | 4:28 pm |
| | Wednesday, December 6th, 2006 | | 2:46 pm |
J-Rock: But you are in LA? Did you move? Why did you go to LA? Why aren't you in NY to come to my new years's party? Lord Casio: Hey, I just decided that I'm coming to NYC in 2 days until the 18th. So when's your crappy party already!? (ha) J-Rock: It's a new years party. It's on New Years Eve. Lord Casio: Gay...what about Quanza? J-Rock: I have a Kwanzaa party, but it's in my pants, and you're not invited cause it's all about seven days of celebration, featuring activities such as candle-lighting and pouring of libations and culminating in a feast and gift-giving. Each of the seven days of Kwanzaa is dedicated to one of the following principles, in my pants. Unity To strive for and maintain unity in the family, community, nation and race in my pants. Self-Determination To define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves and speak for ourselves in my pants. Collective Work and Responsibility To build and maintain our community together and make our brother's and sister's problems our problems and to solve them together in my pants. Cooperative Economics To build and maintain our own stores, shops and other businesses and to profit from them together in my pants. Purpose To make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore my pants to their traditional greatness in my pants. Creativity To do always as much as we can, in the way we can, in order to leave my pants more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited them. Faith To believe with all our heart in our people, our parents, our teachers, our leaders and the righteousness and victory of the struggle in my pants. These principles correspond to the notion that "the seven-fold path of my pants is think in my pants, talk to my pants, act in my pants, create my pants, buy my pants, vote for my pants, and live in my pants." Lord Casio: Wow....you know how to spell Kwanza. Your pants are complicated. I sometimes celebrate the "running of the balls" but its pretty laid back. Happy Holidays....in your pants. | | Thursday, November 30th, 2006 | | 12:13 pm |
J-Rock: I am thinking that I should start a fight club, but instead of men who want to fight, it will just be slutty girls. Universal Donor: hmm, I predict you will be a millionaire soon. | | Tuesday, November 7th, 2006 | | 2:18 pm |
| | Tuesday, October 31st, 2006 | | 1:56 pm |
Hipster Meta Rant
I hate myself
Sugar-free Redbull doesn't cover the taste of vom.Universal Donor has been raving about the awesomeness of The Burg. I finally got around to downloading some and putting it onto my Ipod, (cause you know, the new video IPod takes like forever to load things onto.) So I am on the L, going out to the steel shop that freelance at, but today I am just waiting for the DSL line to be installed. I get in, luckily, I was wearing a hoodie, so I did a little grinding on the Whole Foods job. Then I went to the independant natural food store and got some food. Re-read the texts from the guy I met this weekend at the Halloween loft party, (who is 25 and was dressed as a Mexican wrestler.) Verizon fucked up, and wasn't coming, so I left early. I tried to watch some of The Burg. but by the time I got to Metropolitan/Lorimar the train got crowded, I looked at the people around me, threw up a little in my mouth, and put on The Mountain Goats instead. I got off the train, and knew I totally had to blog about it. Gotta run now, I am going to go have kinky sex with an actor/writer guy. Happy Halloween!  | | Wednesday, July 26th, 2006 | | 9:40 pm |
Thank you R.V. Pierce M.D.
 The People's Common Sense Medical Adviser by R.V. Pierce M.D. ©1918, by World's Dispensary Medical Association | | Wednesday, July 19th, 2006 | | 11:49 am |
18
When I was 18, I was a naughty, naughty girl who didn't deserve to eat. | | Sunday, July 16th, 2006 | | 8:55 pm |
| | Saturday, July 8th, 2006 | | 11:39 am |
| | Wednesday, July 5th, 2006 | | 4:54 pm |
| | 4:53 pm |
| | 3:06 pm |
Dear Myla Goldberg, If I were the Decemberist's, I too would write a song about you. I think if I saw you on the street I would get butterflies in my stomach. Dear Hot Man On The Subway, I totally thought you were hot, and then went and ruined it for yourself. You are tall and solid, and you have your 50's screen hero good looks. The rain had made your hair wet most of it was slicked back, but a few strands fell rakishly into your eyes. Your t-shirt clung to your body. The white t-shirt and blue jeans were a nice touch to the bygone era hero thing. Then I saw your flip-flops, I thought I would give you another chance, but you kept sucking on your finger (seriously, what was that all about, were you eating crackers and they were stuck between your back teeth and gums?) and it was over. We could have had beautiful babies. Dear Lady On The TV, I can't stand to look at you, this sewing show is really interesting, and I am sure you have a lot you could teach me. I am sorry you can only talk out of the left side of your mouth. Is it because of a stroke? | | 1:38 pm |
| | Friday, June 23rd, 2006 | | 7:20 pm |
| | Wednesday, June 14th, 2006 | | 1:16 am |
 Just a suggestion, if you don't want people to know about that time you hired a tranny prostitute, don't get drunk and tell the story every time you meet someone. The smile and glazed eyes as you reminisce on how (s)he worked it, and how it was the best tail you ever had, gives it away. Dear Throat Cancer Guy, Please go away. It's not that I support cancer or anything, I am sorry you had throat cancer, but I don't want to see you swabbing your goddamn throat anymore. I am sorry that the hole in your throat stops you from swimming, maybe you can get water wings or get some kind of throat snorkel. Dear Tang, I hate you. I gave it a shot, but you suck. Please leave my fridgidator, the weird orange glow kinda scares me. Dear Pootie-Tang, I love you, stay the same. You're awesome. Dear Omen, Thank you for bringing me such joy with your unnessecarily violent death scenes. If I ever spawn, child of satan or not, I am only going to cut their hair while they are sleeping and tell them the hair cutting fairy did it. Also, if that kid isn't the child of the devil for reals, you've really fucked him up, if he is, well he still is going to be fucked up. I think he may need to see a shrink. |
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